


bad pick-up lines

by bonestilts (orphan_account)



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Flirting, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Erik can't hit on people, Hand Jobs, M/M, Outercourse, Virgin Charles, X-Men: First Class (2011)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 01:06:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13493613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/bonestilts
Summary: “Charles,” Erik leaned forward slightly over his crossed leg, using his hands on the armchair to push himself up, he held steady eye contact with the man opposite to him, “The only STD I have is a sexually transmitted desire... for you.”Charles almost spat out his martini.





	bad pick-up lines

**Author's Note:**

> based off multiple prompts and pinterest posts
> 
> comment positive things so i can feel good about myself please and thank you  
> I LVOE YOU ALL WHO rEAD THIS THQANK YOU A LOT OKAY I APPRECIATE

They hadn’t spoken much that night, the focus mainly on the game rather than constructing an intriguing conversation. Charles was positioned comfortably in his favored chair as he sipped on his delicious beverage. He might have spoken to his friend more, but Erik didn’t seem to be in the mood for light chit-chat. His eyebrows were knitted together intensely and his steely gaze was more prominent than ever. More or less – Erik was obviously thinking, hard.

Charles just wished he had never found out what about.

“Charles,” Erik leaned forward slightly over his crossed leg, using his hands on the armchair to push himself up, he held steady eye contact with the man opposite to him, “The only STD I have is a sexually transmitted desire... for you.”

Charles almost spat out his martini. He put down his drink beside the chess board and used the back of his hand to wipe his mouth. He spent a moment staring at Erik in sheer confusion and horror. 

“What did you just say?” 

“You heard me.” Erik’s expression didn’t change, he merely kept his eyes locked with Charles’

Charles gawked at his friend, he was completely and utterly shocked at the fact that his friend not only made a very inappropriate joke about STD’s, but also seemed to be _hitting_ on him. Despite it being a horrendous attempt, Charles couldn’t help but notice the slight increasing of heat that clung to his cheeks. 

“Unfortunately.” Charles blinked multiple times before finally breaking the gaze between him and Erik. “Remind me to ask Hank to block you from the internet next time I see him.”

“That’s not fair, I was trying to compliment you.”

Charles scoffed, “Making a horribly offensive joke doesn’t bode too well with trying to compliment someone, my friend.”

“It wasn’t offensive, if you’d heard me correctly, you would know that I said–“

“–I don’t want to hear it again, thank you.” Charles moved his knight. 

“Okay fine, what about this one?” Before Charles could object, Erik unleashed another dreadful pick up line on him, “Unlike Subway, my footlong doesn’t cost five pounds.”

Charles erupted with laughter, he covered his mouth with his hands. “That’s horrible! Oh my, God.” His laughter slowed, he motioned towards Erik, beckoning him to make his move, but he seemed to take it as an invitation to continue abusing Charles’ ears.

“I’m not Rapunzel, but I’ll still let you pull my hair.”

“Erik!” Charles’ eyes widened and forbidden images came into his mind, he coughed and tried to pretend that he couldn’t feel the blush creeping up his neck. “It’s you turn, for goodness sake. Stop with the bad lines, please.”

“Just let me do one more.” 

“Fine,” he sighed, “Last one and then you’ll continue this game like a decent player.”

Erik grinned at him, Charles stifled a shiver, “I hope you have pet insurance because I’m about to destroy your pussy.” 

That made Charles laugh a lot, Erik even joined in with a deep chuckle. By this point Charles knew he was flustered obviously enough so that Erik could see, he only tried to convince himself it was because he had been laughing so hard. Finally, he was able to get his breath back and smiled at Erik. 

“That one doesn’t work for me, I don’t think, I’m not equipped with one of _those_.” He may have been a tease during his university years, but his mouth didn’t condone well with dirty talk, so he avoided saying ‘pussy’. “Where did you even find these, anyway?”

Erik shrugged, he still wore a lazy grin, “Google does wonders.”

“Indeed, it does,” Charles didn’t let himself wonder why Erik had been googling pick-up lines, “I think we can both agree that you and Google don’t mix well.”

Shouldn’t have said that.

“We mix well enough to let me know that you haven’t lost your virginity.” Charles was suddenly overcome by an urge to throw his glass at Erik’s face. 

“What?”

“It made me curious, since you were absent every single night of our road trip, yet Wikipedia tells me that our little scholar has never actually hit a home run. Perhaps it just hasn’t been updated.” 

The mood had changed completely. Charles’ face was no doubt the same shade as his lips. He was buzzing from head to toe, uncertain if it was because of his embarrassment or the alcohol. It was ludicrous for such information to be displayed online, especially on a page like Wikipedia. But it didn’t matter if it was a bluff or not, Charles’ reaction would be enough to prove Erik’s point correct.

“I–I, no, well, listen,” Charles swallowed thickly, he felt too hot, “I just didn’t find the right one. That’s all.” 

Erik maneuvered his head back a little, he was looking at Charles down his nose, “No, obviously not. So, what went wrong during all those nights?” Charles silently pleaded him not to– “Was it the women?” 

_That fucker._

Surely this wasn’t a conversation to be had at this time of night, after both had consumed an impressive amount of drinks. Charles didn’t feel comfortable talking about his sexual accounters with anyone, let alone his unbelievably attractive, drunk best friend. 

Erik didn’t stop there, “Is there something you don’t like about women? Surely not,”

“Erik.”

“They have beautiful breasts, delicious curves, plump, soft lips.” If he was trying to arouse Charles, it wouldn’t work by describing the features of a woman. “Or maybe you were just into something else. A different sex.” Erik’s voice took a turn, it had become husky and sensual. “Maybe a man?” 

Charles couldn’t do anything but stare helplessly back into Erik’s grey eyes, his pupils were dilated and dark; Charles’ knew his own mimicked. If Erik was asking a certain question, both knew that Charles had answered, wordlessly.

Charles cleared his throat and prayed that his voice didn’t shake. “I'm not in the mood to hear you talk about sex, so I think we should head off to bed. We can continue this game tomorrow if we leave the pieces as they are.” 

“Alright.” Erik shifted back into his chair, his attention back to the board and his forwardness disappearing as if his interest in Charles had never existed. He grabbed his gin and tonic and threw his head back to chug the rest of the liquid. No doubt it burnt his throat, but Charles didn’t have time to be concerned about that. He was far too distracted by the way Erik’s Adams apple bobbed when he swallowed, or the lines of his neck that disappeared beneath he black turtleneck Charles oh so wanted to rip off.

Before Erik could dip his head back down and catch Charles staring, the flushed man quickly picked up his own glass with shaky hands and arose from the chair on knees that threatened to give way if he spared one more thought about what Erik was insinuating earlier. 

Charles practically wobbled over to the bar to put his glass down, only now noticing the apparent stiffness in his jeans. He kept his back to the center of the room where Erik sat and swore under his breath, it was his fault after all. Charles knew that Erik had brilliant perception, and Charles wasn’t the best at keeping his attraction towards his friend subtle, especially at the worst of times; like when he’d accidentally walked in on Erik changing and let out the smallest of moans unexpectedly. 

Charles expected Erik to quietly remove himself from the room so Charles could fix his problem. However, he was not expecting to hear Erik’s footsteps scuffle over towards Charles, who leaned over the bar with outstretched arms. Charles couldn’t turn around, he would have loved to, but his body was frozen with arousal and fear. 

Erik reached around Charles to put his empty glass next to Charles’, which his hand also just so happened to be placed; gripping the corner of the wood tightly. Erik didn’t pull away once putting his glass down, instead he let his hand rest there alongside Charles’. Charles tried not to picture how they looked from a different perspective; Erik leaning over Charles from behind, his breath disrupting the baby hairs on the back of his neck, whilst Charles grips the bar with both hands in attempt to stop the blood from flowing south.

“What,” swallow audibly, “are you doing?” 

Erik’s mouth was right beside his ear, so _close_ , “Trying to figure out what you want.”

Charles felt Erik move his other hand to his hip, it caused his entire body to shudder with restrained pleasure. Charles wanted to stop Erik, to say something, but he knew better than to risk accidentally moaning in front of him again. Instead, Charles tried his best to keep his breathing even whilst Erik's fingers made their way underneath his cardigan and lightly rubbed his hip bone through his shirt. He couldn't help it, Charles' voice betrayed him and let out a breathy whine whilst exhaling. 

Erik seemed to see this as a sign to continue, which it definitely was, so he dipped his fingers underneath his shirt tentatively and rested a few finger pads on the skin of his hip. Charles hung his head until his chin rested against his chest. Charles had only now realised that Erik's other hand had repositioned itself to cover his own, it was if they were almost holding hands, something Charles had had the urge to do every time he and Erik walked side by side. 

"Tell me," Erik's breath was hot against the side of his face, "What is it that you want?" 

Charles had so many options on what to reply with; many involving Erik slamming into him. He decided to go with the one that included all of those fantasies, he would tell Erik what he wanted, just as soon as he got his breath back. 

Erik’s tongue found its way to Charles’ ear, and he licked along the shell of it. Charles tried to contain his throaty moan, but it escaped past his trembling lips. Erik’s palm was now cupping his hip, caressing lightly at the burning skin there. Charles felt so sexually frustrated he thought he might combust right then and there. 

“Charles?” Oh right, he was waiting for an answer. He licked along his ear again, this time catching the lobe between his teeth and teasing it. Charles was about to lose it.

“Y–You.” Charles took deep breaths, he was trying not to pant too loudly, “I want you.” 

Erik chuckled deeply into Charles’ ear and he thought he might faint. All the blood from his head and long since travelled down into his groin, he was left feeling both dizzy and exceptionally turned on. His knuckles were white against the polished wood of the bar. Finally, Erik moved his other hand up Charles’ arm, along his shoulder, down his back and onto his other hip. 

Erik moved backwards and dragged Charles’ hips with him, forcing Charles to also step back so that he really was leaning towards the bar; the perfect position to be ravished in. There was a sharp intake of breath as Charles felt Erik rest his groin against his arse.

“Is it true then?”

Charles was surprised he had a voice, even if it was breathy and on the verge of a moan, “Is what true?”

“About still being a virgin.” 

On cue with ‘virgin’, Erik ground his hips slowly forward and pushed against Charles’ backside; earning a relieving exhale. Charles could feel Erik’s hard length through his pants, it only made him more aroused knowing Erik wanted this as much as he did.

Shamefully, Charles nodded despite knowing Erik probably couldn’t see as he was looking down his flushed neck. “Yes.”

“Have you done anything at all?” He still spoke from behind him, leaning down further so that his chin was at the top of Charles’ spine. “Even with clothes on?”

Charles could feel Erik’s body flush against his back, and god – did he want to dispose of his pants so his cock could be free, it was beginning to hurt. Feebly, he replied in a whisper, “No.”

Erik pushed his hips forward again, causing Charles to moan softly. He was stimulating what Charles knew he couldn’t have yet, as much as he wanted Erik to take him from behind, he was nowhere near ready.

Suddenly, Erik spun him around by his hips so that his ass was pressed against the bar’s ledge and he was facing Erik. There was no doubting that Charles’ was utterly flustered, red all over, radiating heat. Erik’s cheekbones were dusted with a pink glow and his bottom lip was slick with saliva as if he had been licking it in earnest. 

Erik moved closer, pressing their bodies together. He slid his denim-clad thigh between Charles’ quivering legs and swiftly, but slowly, put pressure on Charles’ crotch. Charles groaned with an open mouth, he was looking up at Erik with hooded eyes. Charles tried to grind down against Erik’s thigh but he held his hips too tightly, pinning him to the side of the bar. 

Charles whined in protest, he needed friction. Erik leant down and just as Charles thought he might nuzzle into his neck, something hot trailed along his collarbone. Erik bit down softly on the jutting bone, causing Charles to _whimper_ , then he eased the skin with his tongue. 

Charles brought his arms up to take off his cardigan, it was too hot with it on. His shirt rode up during the action and Erik took a hand off his hip to keep it that way, pressing his palm against Charles’ ribcage to keep the fabric from slipping back down.

Whilst moving his thigh up between his legs continuously, Erik brought his mouth to Charles’ and pressed their lips together. It was rough and nothing like any of the females Charles had ever kissed; he loved it. He let Erik catch his bottom lip in-between his own teeth and pull on it, as if it were a piece of meat. Finally, Erik let Charles rock his forwards against Erik’s thigh, causing him to let out a broken moan. 

Erik got to work on Charles’ zipper, letting his cock emerge in his boxers through the V of his pants. He pushed his hand underneath, after teasing the coarse hair by his navel, and grabbed Charles’ throbbing member. It was already swollen and leaking. 

“Fuck,” Erik laughed against his open mouth, ajar with pleasure, “How did you get through university like this? I would have ruined you the second I laid eyes on you.”

“Oh, yes, please Erik. Please.” Charles buckled helplessly into Erik’s tight fist, he was panting fast and hard. He had never felt somebody else’s hand against him, it had always been his, alone, in his room. 

Erik ran his hand up his pasty chest and tugged on a nipple unexpectedly. Charles almost yelled from the buzz of arousal. 

Erik tightened his grip as soon as Charles’ head was in between his fingers, massaging the slit with his thumb pad every change he got. It was driving Charles wild. He kept one hand scrunched tightly in the material covering Erik’s chest, the other had a death grip on his shoulder. He could feel Erik’s pec on his knuckles. 

Every second exhale was a breathy moan for Charles. By this point both of them had their dicks out and were rutting against each other in Erik’s hand. They went from synchronised thrusts to recklessly grinding in pure ecstasy as they got closer and closer to release. Erik would sometimes grunt against Charles’ open mouth and he would have to clench every muscle in his body to not come simply at the sound of Erik in bliss.

As much as Charles would have liked it to, nothing last forever. And soon Charles was clinging to Erik’s neck, head thrown back so to expose the pale flesh to Erik who bit and licked, breathlessly warning him between moans that he was ‘close’. 

Charles stiffened his body as he came, resting his forehead in the dip of Erik’s collar bone with eyes screwed shut. He moaned Erik’s name loudly, it was broken and strained, and sounded so sensual that Erik came along with him. 

When Charles lifted his head, he was still panting lightly. They had just gotten off like horny teenagers, but Charles supposed that he was basically still at that stage; having no experience at all with others. 

Erik’s hair was curled, some of it clung to his head with sweat, Charles presumed his looked similar. Erik leaned in to kiss Charles again, who agreed happily and let the breath be sucked out of him once again at the fact that he was kissing the man he had dreamt about since meeting. 

Charles opened his mouth to thank Erik, to tell him how much he had enjoyed it, but Erik beat him to it. 

Grinning sheepishly, but still sexily, he said, “I wish you were my pinky toe.”

Charles frowned, slightly confused, “Why?”

“So I could bang you on every piece of furniture in my house.”

Charles slapped Erik out of irritation, but still let himself be carried bridal style to Erik’s bed. 


End file.
